Dawn of the Dead

--- The Movie Genre That Just Won't Die ---

Just watched "Dawn of the Dead". Really gross. And not even in any good kind of way. Mind-numbing blood and gore. I truly felt like the core of my humanity was under assault. And I'm pretty tough skinned when it comes to graphic screen gore. There's just something wrong with showing a person shooting another person in the head at close range, and in full graphic detail - even if the one having the back of their skull blown out happens to be one of the "undead". It's just too close to what people are probably seeing in Iraq for my comfort.

Perhaps this movie is considered by zombie movie aficionados to be the best zombie flick ever. But I'm not buying. It was vulgar - all around. The violence was WAY too graphic. Heads blown off. Legs being sawed off with a chainsaw. Shoulders of an un-undead sawn through with a chainsaw. Newborn baby being shot in the head - albeit a zom(ba)bie. Ugh!

If there was anything good that came from watching this movie at all, it was me being inspired to coin the term "desensitive". No, not "insensitive". Desensitive: a state of suppressed sensitivity achieved through a process of desensitization, such as being exposed over a long period of time to increasingly graphic visual depictions of violence. By comparison, the word "insensitive" does not hint at the process by which suppressed sensitivity is achieved.

There were a few redeeming positive messages tucked into this movie (and by "positive" I mean "negative", and by "redeeming" I mean "damning"). Learn these lessons well...

1) You should hoard as large a stockpile of handguns, scope-enabled hunting rifles, shotguns, semi-automatic assault weapons, and hollow point ammunition as you possibly can, so that you are sufficiently prepared for when the zombies (or loving same sex couples) inevitably take to the streets in marauding gangs to destroy the beautiful safe world you have come to love.
2) If you have sex out of wedlock, engage in acts of man-on-man love, or even so much as endorse gay marriage, the limitless bounds of the unspeakable evil you will unleash will cause hell to literally overflow and spillover onto Earth, so that the souls of the damned shall walk the streets and covet your succulent flesh.
3) If you wake up one morning only to find yourself in the midst of the end times, seek the safety of the nearest shopping mall, where big name brands and irresistably low discount prices will provide you sanctuary from the mayhem of the Rapture that will befall the unbelieving mall-hating heathens left outside to suffer their well deserved fate.

Musing on the subject of zombies, for a moment, it occurs to me that zombies become the perfect license for depicting obscene violence on humans. Zombies have the same form as humans, but they're not alive - they're just undead. They take on the form of the real living people who once occupied their pre-zombified bodies. This gets us into territory where it becomes OK to act in a murderous fashion towards people, since they've become dehumanized. So, it becomes OK to blow the brains out of the schoolteacher, the boss, the mother, the husband, the police officer, the street thug - anyone who you harbored any resentment or contempt towards.

Anyway, now I'm getting too deep into zombology. Let me just say this much - I'm relieved that the movie is over. Next time I'll choose the root canal instead. However, I DO look forward to watching the somewhat more lighthearted "Shawn of the Dead" - a tasty spoof on the whole zombie genre that looked perfectly smashing from the trailer. And, on the subject of punny movie titles, I wonder if there's some disgusting necrophilia sex flik called "Porn of the Dead". Must be, but I'm afraid to even do a Web search. I'll leave that to the morbidly curious of you...